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There's Pride; Then There Is Your Pride

by Tammy Shaklee, Relationship Expert and H4M FounderJune 20, 2024

For a dozen years, I have said the most eligible singles are the ones who are happy. The ones who are interesting. The ones who have designed a great life for themselves, no matter how large or small. The ones who are content being who they are. (Always a work in progress, of course.) They simply want to meet someone to share it with.

I remember the first time an eligible bachelor said to me, "I am a good son, a good brother, a good grandson, a good accountant, and a good community member. I just happen to be gay. I don't lead with it. It doesn't come to mind in my first descriptors. I'm just a regular good guy." (Some dating coaches even refer to the invisible nice guy.)

And I would say that after a decade, that profiles the majority of our H4M singles, coast to coast in the U.S. They are good people. I am in awe of some of the most interesting and accomplished singles I have had the opportunity to interview for hours and truly get to know. 

I feel honored to "be in their orbit" as some say. I often become their super fan or their behind-the-scenes cheerleader. To some, I feel like a doting aunt or loving sister. To others, a distant gal pal. We sometimes say to each other, if we lived in the same city, we would so hang out. Not always, but often. I admire my bachelors and bachelorettes, truly.

For these amazing singles, I am so happy for and proud of them. Our team's goal is to simply introduce them to their compatible partner. Each wants a committed and sustainable long-term relationship. They are not looking for someone to complete them but to complement who they are and who they have become.

During Pride Month, I see what others see. I hear what others hear. But the singles who I represent are usually just kickin' ass and killin' it another day, week, or month. Sure, a few each year may fly to Brazil, go on a cruise, or hit the coasts or Ptown for a special outing for Pride. But most join me in being proud of the LGBTQ community all year long—in some quiet ways, some special ways, or personable ways. 

Some are philanthropic, and others are leaders or advocates. Being a good person to all. Being aware of and appreciative of the history of those who have fought hard in representation and actions for equality. 

It is OK that I have probably been to more Pride festivals than most of my singles. As a straight ally, I encourage all to get involved and show support. Not just this month but always. 

In your heart, mind, and actions, be proud of yourself and others. Acknowledge we all deserve the best in what life has to offer, no matter how hard it may be. Hold your head high and reach out to support others—whatever that looks like for you.

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"You gave me such confidence and were so assuring. Sometimes you just need someone to say, "There's nothing wrong with you! You're a great catch". That stuck with me and meant the world."- Bachelor, California, 60
Philosophy #12

Finding a match is like selecting shoes—you may have to try on more than you expected.